Accountability in Divorce

Taking accountability in divorce is very difficult, but also necessary in order to learn, grow, heal and become free. It takes two people to fall in love and build a relationship, it also takes two to end it. Even if we were blindsided, lied to or cheated on, there were words not (or not) said, actions (or not) taken that led to the end of the relationship. Being accountable means reflecting upon the past, seeing where we were not being true to ourselves, not setting/holding good boundaries and accepting those facts. It is easy to blame, point fingers and fall into the victim role. It is much more difficult to accept our role in the ending of the relationship, learn from our mistakes and heal and grow. We are more likely to form a secure, stable relationship in the future if we have accepted our faults, learned from our previous mistakes and moved on from the past. We are also more present and emotionally accessible to our children when we don't have resentment towards the other parent. Our self reflection is also teaching our children to take responsibility and to forgive themselves for making mistakes. Accountability creates freedom from the past, opens us up to better experiences and makes us better people and partners.